Undividing - The Emotions Diary #5 - Expectations Will Kill You
How my recent depression was caused by my own unmet expectations.
Hey there all,
Before we begin, a reader wrote to me and asked if I thought The Emotions Diary is a replacement for therapy. The answer is no, I would never say don’t do therapy. I’ve enjoyed incredible breakthroughs with therapy. But the Emotions Diary can be a great first step for people afraid to try therapy, and also a great accompaniment to therapy work. I talk more about that in this week’s video.
This week the Emotions Diary schooled me hard on my old bugbear - Expectations:
Expectations are how you think something will go, and how that will feel.
How nothing ever goes how you think, and even if it does, it never feels the way you think it will.
And that what is under every expectation is the loss of the reality you were planning on.
Forward this to anyone you know going through it if you think it’ll help them.
And if you’re new to the Emotions Diary, the instructions are down the bottom.
Let the Emotions Diary explain you, to you. Let’s get undividing…
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INSTRUCTIONS FOR USING THE EMOTIONS DIARY
Whatever you can’t figure out in your life, you can figure it out in here. The Emotions Diary is the tool for undividing yourself - understanding why you do, think, and feel the things you do.
You’ll need:
A notebook
A pen
An open heart and mind
And the practice is this:
What - Write down what’s going on in your life that you want an answer to; a persistent feeling, a bad habit, not knowing why you did something, general confusion etc.
Ask - Let this formulate into a question. Sometimes the question itself suprises you, as in, oh yeah, that is what I want to ask. Also, you can go straight to the question if you have already know.
Wait - Relax. Let the universe do its work. Generally an answer starts coming within seconds for me.
Answer - Write down what it “says.” Don’t overthink, edit it, or interpret it while comes. Receive it like you’re taking dictation. Capture the tone.
And a final note is to dwell with the answer. Feel the layers of it land in you.