#8 The Generation Trap - Why We Should Stop Using Generational Labels
Plus Wednesday Waffles & Emoji Is The World's Most Used Language.
Hello everyone and welcome to Undividing where we are undividing ourselves and our world.
This is the last Undividing for this year. There will be the Emotions Diary on Thursday, and then it’s pens down for me. Friday morning I take a flight back to Australia for a month.
And I’m taking my own advice about spending time undividing with the people I love—my partner, family, and friends.
I want to thank you all for this year. From the people who came out to support How To Burn a Rainbow, those who signed up for Friends Of Karl, and all the new friends we’ve gathered in Undividing.
It’s been a year. I did the last draft of the book, learned eight programs to produce it, self-published and toured it, started a newsletter, then a Substack, made forays into the speaking world, and discovered I was capable of more than I ever imagined.
But it’s also a year that I need to unplug from, celebrate over, meditate on, learn from, and come back inspired and stronger for 2025. I hope the same for all of you.
In Undividing #8 this week we’re undividing:
Generational labels as fake news - In Undividing Our World, generational labels are causing greater divisions in on our planet between generational groups. So why are we buying into it and who’s benefitting?
Wednesday Waffles is the new un-social media - In Undividing Ourselves I get into the new and wonderful practice of the Wednesday Waffle - how people are re-establishing connection with people they love, and social media has no part in it.
Emojis - the most commonly used language on the planet - In Undividing Extras we’re doing an emoji breakdown or rather, 😀🌏🗣️🎉
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Undividing Our World: Generational Labels
We are a world defined by labels - Millennials. Gen Z. Baby Boomers.
These generational labels seem so ingrained that it’s hard to imagine a time without them. But who decided we needed these names—and what purpose do they really serve? They’re all over our news, feed, and public discourse. But their origins reveal a complex web of marketing agendas, sociological theories, and corporate hijacking.
Unsurprisingly, these labels are causing huge divisions that aren’t serving us at all. They are in many ways, forcing a false identity on all of us. Just ask Tilda Swinton. You can watch her entire SXSW 2023 interview here on YouTube and I particularly liked the video clip below about identity, and her moment at 24:00 where she talks about the need to stay connected.
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So where did Generational Naming come from?
Everyone loves to blame the Boomers. These labels started with them. But not by them—these labels emerged from the fields of sociology, marketing, and media.
The first modern generational label, "Baby Boomers," arose after World War II to describe the postwar birth surge. Sociologist William Strauss and historian Neil Howe later popularized the idea of distinct generations with their 1991 book Generations: The History of America’s Future. They coined terms like “Millennials” to predict how social patterns would shape young people born after 1980.
So originally, labels were a way to examine how factors in the world created social conditions that affected people growing up in them. Especially in our formative teen and early twenties years.
But then the marketing industry got their hands on them. And started using them to sell products. Baby Boomers were the first to be sold the dream of homes, cars, appliances, and holidays.
According to Ryan Jenkins, the generational researcher and speaker, advertising firms who were eager to target specific demographics, leaned into these broad generational identities. Media outlets amplified these terms, cementing them in the public consciousness. Suddenly, a sociological theory turned into a marketing/media juggernaut.
Like I always say, ask who benefits from a division, then follow the money.
So what’s in it for us, the ones being labelled?
Simplicity. And blame. It’s a complex world, and the human brain likes things simple. So these labels serve many purposes for us. But I would argue that none do us good in any way. Particularly since the labels are mostly used to have us fighting amongst ourselves.
The book I recommended in a previous Undividing, Matthew Sayed’s Rebel Ideas, provides several of the points here.
We fall for these generational labels because they simplify a complex world into digestible narratives that play into deep psychological tendencies. Which in turn result in so much conflict in our world and ourselves.
Here’s five reasons why these labels resonate so powerfully:
Generational labels serve as mental shortcuts, allowing people to make broad assumptions about behavior, values, and attitudes without digging into the complexities of individual experiences. This is a form of cognitive bias known as “heuristic thinking”, where we rely on simple rules to make judgments.
A sense of belonging - Being a Millennial, Gen Z-er, or Baby Boomer creates a shared cultural identity, even if the experiences within those groups vary widely. Psychologists call this “social identity theory”, which explains how group affiliations shape self-perception and influence behavior. However, through peer pressure, we diminish ourselves into boxes.
Media Engagement - headlines like “Millennials Are Killing [insert industry or social norm here]” or “Boomers Don’t Get It” spark outrage and engagement, driving clicks and boosting advertising revenue. We are peddled the worst cliches about each because they get our attention, clicks, and cash.
These next two are particularly dangerous in my opinion:
Conformation Bias - Once people internalize these labels, they start seeing the world through a lens that confirms their beliefs. For example, a manager who thinks Millennials are “lazy” may notice every instance of lateness while overlooking hard work. This “confirmation bias” as Syed calls it, reinforces stereotypes and perpetuates generational myths.
Politicians, marketers, and media figures capitalize on cultural stories that frame social change as a generational struggle - “The Blame Game” which is making economic inequality or climate change age-group-specific issues seem like another generation’s fault. Which distracts us away from solving the actual problems which usually require systematic change, not intergenerational finger pointing and online outrage.
How can we describe ourselves differently then? Have you tried empathy?
Before you go blaming Gen Zs, Millennials, or Boomers for… whatever it is this week, watch this clip by Simon Sinek. He uses empathy to spotlight what Millennials have been through in their lives that makes them why they are and arrives at this point - “It’s not their fault.”
Simon takes it back to the original idea of these labels as a sociological tool to help us understand each other. Disregard the very clicky title which is of course hooking us in with its blame-like tone. See, it’s titled in a way that goes against the very message it’s giving. Watch this, it’s really succinctly put.
From here, it’s not a huge leap to see that it’s the same for Gen Z, Gen X, Boomers etc. We are all products of the times we were born into. None of which is any of our faults.
When I find myself frustrated with behaviour that I perceive to be generational, instead of blaming, these days, I like to put myself in whoever’s shoes it is. I always come to the conclusion—that I would have been the same way if I had grown up as they do.
And then I give a silent thanks for all the opportunities I had from being born when I was that generations following me don’t get.
So what do we call each other then?
Following on from Simon’s observations, it’s better to talk about people in terms of their shared experiences, rather than their ages.
But that requires shifting from reductive age-based terms to language that reflects people’s actual roles, life stages, and experiences. Which of course require more effort from us.
Here are some of my thoughts to open up how we think about each other and where we have cross-generational shared experiences:
Use Life Stage Descriptors
Early Career Professionals instead of "Gen Z"
Mid-Career Workers instead of "Gen X"
Retirees or Seasoned Professionals instead of "Baby Boomers"
2. Focus on Social and Economic Context
Digital Natives for people who grew up with the internet (this could include some Gen Xers, Millennials, and Gen Zers).
Economic Recession Graduates for those who entered the job market during the 2008 financial crisis.
3. Context-Specific Labels
In the workplace: Experienced Mentors and Emerging Leaders
In consumer marketing: Budget-Conscious Buyers and Tech Enthusiasts
These terms highlight roles, behaviors, or preferences rather than presumed generational characteristics. They aren’t sexy, they aren’t easy, but they’re far more accurate.
I know people who have changed careers in their 40s and become early career folks, people who retired in their 20s after selling multi-million dollar businesses, and people in their 60s who are better at tech than people born with phones in their hands.
But this brings up a bigger question: What if there is no them?
Getting rid of generational ideas and turning our thinking more towards life stages or events begins to disperse the inherent prejudices that are hard-wired into derivative Generational Names.
But the same is true of ethnicity, religion, income etc. I started thinking about how if we activated this empathy anytime we’re pointing at an imagined “them” in order to define a perceived “us”, where would that leave us all?
I think a large swathe of the world defines themselves by who they aren’t. Take that away, and that’s when the hard work begins. Who am I, if I’m not anti-(insert any group here)?
Lots of folks probably wouldn’t have an answer because looking beyond generational labels, or labels of any kind requires inner-work. And that terrifies most people. Which I can’t blame them for.
And that’s where undividing ourselves is so essential in undividing our world. It’s where it all begins.
So to wrap up, next time a generational name is about to pop out of your mouth, stop and think more about what they’ve been through. Connect with people in those groups. Ask them questions about their lives. It takes practice.
But if we can learn these generational divisions co-opted to sell us things we don’t need, and further political aims that don’t solve our long term problems, we can do this too.
Undividing Ourselves: The Wednesday Waffle
I miss my friends. They’re all over the world. But oddly I can go months without seeing someone in real life in the same damn city.
And I was thinking a lot about this after the friendship post in Undividing #5. What’s a simple hack?
Well, Zachary Perez came up with this great idea. And I’m putting it in this week. IG videos don’t seem to embed in Substack, so you’ll have to click the actual link here:
https://www.instagram.com/ruokanyday/reel/DBpUzcIv1lN/?hl=en
Zachary runs a suicide prevention organisation in Australia called RUOk? And he came up with the idea and coined the term: The Wednesday Waffle.
Basically you start a WhatsApp or other text thread with 2-4 really close friends. Then every humpday you drop in a 1-2 minute video of what’s going on with you. Be honest, be real. He said it’s turned into one of the highlights of his week.
Take a second to think:
Who are 2-4 people you want to know what’s going on with, who all know each other? This is important, because you want the group to be people everyone is OK with being vulnerable in front of.
Text them to see if they’re into the idea and tell them who else you want in.
Start a group thread and drop in a video every Wednesday.
I think this is an idea worth spreading. It helps us all undivide those gaps in our friendships when life keeps getting in the way. Why not give this as a gift to some of your besties? It’s Xmas after all.
Let me know if you kick one off. And how it changes your group dynamic.
Undividing Extra: Emojis Are The 🌏🗣️
I don’t know anyone in the world who doesn’t use emojis. Even my mum signs off with them in texts.
Although, I did have to explain to her that LOL doesn’t mean Lots Of Love. It did lend a certain delicious dark humour to her writings: Dad’s getting some tests done. LOL.
Anyway, the word “emoji” comes from Japanese e (絵, “picture”) + moji (文字, “character”). And in this article here you can read about their evolution. Invented by the Japanese, standard on all phones in Japan by 2001, emojis exploded into the world when Apple included them on the iPhone 1 in 2008.
What I adore is that it gave the world a common communication tool to use. Something Esperanto had aspirations to do, and where English will always be in third place, after Spanish, and both after Mandarin.
No conjugation, no cases, no exceptions, no alphabet. But even this universal language of emojis can have its cultural differences:
😇 The halo emoji signifies innocence in Western cultures, but not in China - it can be seen as a sign of death.
👏 A round of applause in Western cultures in China is a symbol for sex. (Karl: hopefully not the clap)
🙏 The folded hands emoji has religious connotations in Christianity, but in Islam, prayer is symbolized by open palms (🤲). On the other hand, in Japan, it can mean “please” or “thank you.”
👌 The “OK” sign gesture can be an, ahem, insult in Brazil (think holes) while signifying “number 9” in American Sign Language.
👍 The “thumbs up” emoji can be seen as rude in some cultures like Iran, while also having numerical meanings depending on the location (e.g., number 5 in Japan).
📈 The “increasing chart” emoji might seem positive with its upward line, but green can be interpreted negatively in Korea. That’s why its color is sometimes changed to red, a color associated with good fortune in Korean culture.
👋 This friendly wave which in the west is used as a hello, can signal the end of a friendship in China.
That said, we like them. They are a shorthand that’s (mostly) universally understood.
And the top emojis of 2024? Emojipedia’s World Emoji Awards have the global emojis 2024 wrapped.
While the melting smile face is probably an accurate depiction of our collective mood in 2024, I like the fact that the majority are positive. Although I have to protest that there were no nominations for 💅 which I think of as the campiest emoji around.
But sashay away.
Till the Emotions Diary on Wednesday, big undividing hugs to you all,
Karl
P.S. How To Burn A Rainbow just picked up two huge independent book awards—Reader’s Favourite and Best Indie Book Awards for LGBTQ+ Memoir!!!
You can pick one up from Jeff at the US Amazon store or from Ru Paul’s Allstora who now ship internationally. Or order one at your local bookstore.
I am guilty of using these generational terms sometimes. I like to say I identify more with the millennials than the gen x though I'm really an old millennial if at all. But I try not to use it as dividing, rather just to understand what drives some people and why they do what they do. Of course, it's all generalization; ditto with those personality tests. But it can be useful if we use it sparingly to understand one another more; better yet we use it to help and motivate the other.