The idea of a system creating a problem only to sell us the solution really struck a chord with me, Karl. I recently wrote about this too, though in the context of footwear. Modern shoes often wreck posture, restrict movement, and mess with joint alignment. Yet the solution? “Barefoot shoes.” It’s wild. Especially now that I live in a place where “no shoes, no shirt, no service” isn’t a thing. Barefoot shoes? Just… take your frickin’ shoes off!
But that act—like rest—has been pathologized. No shoes? You’re a bum. Get enough rest? You’re lazy. In both cases, what’s natural and healthy has been reframed as unproductive or socially unacceptable. Creation, evolution, whatever you believe—it has already equipped us with what we need. These shouldn’t even be problems.
And just like the shoe problem, the answer to the rest problem is surprisingly simple: get more of it! Stop pandering to the systems stealing it from us. That’s been my quiet rebellion since leaving my construction career. I haven’t set an alarm in nearly four years—and I consider that a sacred privilege. (Granted, I have two toddlers who are alarm clocks, but at least they’re synced to the sun rise and pass out by dusk.)
I hope that they can carry that natural rhythm into adulthood. Living in Belize makes it more likely than if we’d stayed in Canada.
The thought of going back to alarms and artificial wake-up times honestly makes me shudder.
It's interesting isn't it how we are sold the problem and cure by the same system. It's funny you mention barefoot shoes. My more Green Party friends have been wearing them for years, but I've just seen them start to appear on the feet of my fashion buddies. It's mainstream. But again, why should it ever be out or in? It's the best solution.
This was a really good read, Karl! Thank you for writing it 🫶 I’d like to share with you a poem I wrote a few months ago that shares in this sentiment 🙂 I am getting better at this whole rest and flow thing ✨
I'm part of what they call the 'sandwiched' generation: ageing parents, growing teens, and in my case, siblings-in-high-need. I get cranky when the people telling me I should rest more don't offering to take up any of the load that I carry. (Often they are the very people who will gleefully add to the load!) Micro rests are about all I can manage at the moment. Plus constantly patrolling my boundaries. Sigh.
Loved this, listened in while peering out the window with my cat 🐈⬛ shortly after sunrise. Felt like a meditation in itself and I agree wholeheartedly about rest. I’m recovering my vitality post divorce, death & psycho/Narc abuse and I did practice (via intuition) sitting in quiet or music, observing nature ~ it’s helps bring clarity as the body & mind have a chance to connect the dots of your life ~ as the inner witness ~ this skill is a life saver I’ve found. So glad to hear someone else speaking on this. Pre tech days were very different and I believe the more we move through our days sans tech, the healthier & happier we all will be. Tech has been a psychological weapon, especially when no real boundaries of its use are implemented. It’s a take back of our very thoughts and brain/ body patterning. Thank you for the post!
I wish we used tech for school and work. And not so much for socializing. Contacting family, maybe, but it’s still not the same as picking up a phone, maybe a land line one and actually talking to someone. You can hear their voice. Read the pregnant pauses in their words instead of not knowing if they got distracted by something or someone else. It has gotten to the point that at least half of the people I know almost refuse to speak with anyone on the phone. Infinite scrolling is a total and complete time waster. The only place I do it is here and (guilty pleasure) Facebook marketplace. I love “window shopping”- hearting things I will never buy. But I quit frequenting all other social media outlets years ago.
I, too am going through a divorce that, despite a challenging 20 year marriage with 4 children and 5 grandchildren (surely we’re too young to have that many), was a total shock. Just as I had come to a place of feeling good about our marriage and our relationship, I revealed the wrong thing and this is what happened. But through the heartbreak and the grief and the loneliness, I found stillness. I basically was so depressed and not ok that I took to bed ( not able to function) and only used my phone to communicate with my best friend and my therapist (my support team). I mainly cried and felt and slept and thought. I stayed in my room, completely alone for the most part and became very familiar with me. The whole thing cracked my heart wide open and I was given the gift of vulnerability and the ability to see and accept the truth of what was and what had been. And who I was (how I thought, felt, and acted) and how I think, feel, and act now. Some call this shadow work and it’s never easy. I moved into my new place a week ago and am already so much better. And yes, I still rest and look out the sliding glass window at the woods across from me. And at night, I sit on the balcony and listen to the cicadas, taking in the scent of trees, grateful for the occasional wind that glides across my skin. I treasure my quiet time and used to have to steal it or feel guilty about it. I am studying (at home) to be a professional editor. Available positions pepper my inbox from a LinkedIn and Indeed and copywriters make a sh*t ton of money. But I’ve been a copywriter before and I absolutely hate it. I feel sort of guilty and stupid about not going that route, but I value my quality of life more than money. And I can make a pretty good living as an editor and it’s something that I love to do. Sounds fair, right? Thanks for helping me justify my rest and for making it a little bit easier for me to not feel so lazy and guilty for doing it. Not quite there yet, but making progress. 🙂
That's quite a tale Ellie, I feel you on how a divorce can rip you in two and make all the everything come to the surface. It was a shock to me. But the greatest thing that ever happened as well. It's when I actually first embraced the stillness. I'm glad it's served you so well too.
My pleasure Laura, and I'm glad it found you and your cat in the right moment. I feel for you about the post-divorce years, it took me a long time to get back to myself. But I'm glad for it all, it led me here. And here is good. I hope you're doing well on that path.
When I have paused to read your work it taps me gently between the eyes. This one wordifies much of my own discovery around rest and the magic in nothingness, and that synchronicity whispers rightness - your unifying premise of ‘undividing’ though is a golden thread… separation is soul cancer. ❤️
"Taps me between the eyes" is one of the best things anyone has ever said about my work. Thank you HoP. I really appreciate you letting me know how this is landing with you.
The idea of a system creating a problem only to sell us the solution really struck a chord with me, Karl. I recently wrote about this too, though in the context of footwear. Modern shoes often wreck posture, restrict movement, and mess with joint alignment. Yet the solution? “Barefoot shoes.” It’s wild. Especially now that I live in a place where “no shoes, no shirt, no service” isn’t a thing. Barefoot shoes? Just… take your frickin’ shoes off!
But that act—like rest—has been pathologized. No shoes? You’re a bum. Get enough rest? You’re lazy. In both cases, what’s natural and healthy has been reframed as unproductive or socially unacceptable. Creation, evolution, whatever you believe—it has already equipped us with what we need. These shouldn’t even be problems.
And just like the shoe problem, the answer to the rest problem is surprisingly simple: get more of it! Stop pandering to the systems stealing it from us. That’s been my quiet rebellion since leaving my construction career. I haven’t set an alarm in nearly four years—and I consider that a sacred privilege. (Granted, I have two toddlers who are alarm clocks, but at least they’re synced to the sun rise and pass out by dusk.)
I hope that they can carry that natural rhythm into adulthood. Living in Belize makes it more likely than if we’d stayed in Canada.
The thought of going back to alarms and artificial wake-up times honestly makes me shudder.
It's interesting isn't it how we are sold the problem and cure by the same system. It's funny you mention barefoot shoes. My more Green Party friends have been wearing them for years, but I've just seen them start to appear on the feet of my fashion buddies. It's mainstream. But again, why should it ever be out or in? It's the best solution.
This was a really good read, Karl! Thank you for writing it 🫶 I’d like to share with you a poem I wrote a few months ago that shares in this sentiment 🙂 I am getting better at this whole rest and flow thing ✨
I am trying
To climb my way out
Of this
Uncanny place of
Near-depletion
Attempting to hold
Both frustration and self-compassion -
(And so many big
And little things, for that matter
From mundane tasks to
Multiple perspectives
My visions, fascinations
Creative ideas and
Everyone’s feelings)
I can’t seem to do
As much as I used to.
My mind feels so very full.
I find myself wondering
What it would feel like
To have this fog,
This heaviness, lift
And if I could ever truly touch
That space only wild children know
That space before we were taught
To feel guilt and shame
For clear rest
And pure play
Before it felt wrong to stay in bed
Or sit in the forest all day
I daydream of the sense of relief
That I’m sure would wash over me
After finally, one day - maybe today!
I would be able to successfully, lovingly
Quiet the voice of that slave-driving tyrant
That has taken rooted residence
In my mind
Goodness, wouldn’t that feel like
Sitting on the throne of peace?
Blissful, thankful that I’ve remembered,
Mastered
How not to wrestle with myself
To be so… sure-footed
And grounded
In my own presence
That I would never again
Let the Call of Productivity
Seduce me
Into a false sense of self-worth
A false sense of security
Have patience with me
As I inch closer and closer to
Breaking through
To the center
Where flow dances harmoniously
With a kind routine,
An honest discipline
The place where
I am enough for me
And my love is free
Whether I am bare
Or blooming
Loved the poem, thank you so much for sharing that one here. You nailed what a lot of us are feeling.
Lovely!
I'm part of what they call the 'sandwiched' generation: ageing parents, growing teens, and in my case, siblings-in-high-need. I get cranky when the people telling me I should rest more don't offering to take up any of the load that I carry. (Often they are the very people who will gleefully add to the load!) Micro rests are about all I can manage at the moment. Plus constantly patrolling my boundaries. Sigh.
Coincidentally, it's the subject of my latest 100% HUMAN. Here's a cheeky/opportunistic share: https://open.substack.com/pub/wordninjaru/p/my-dog-ate-my-substack?r=2n5jha&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Loved this, listened in while peering out the window with my cat 🐈⬛ shortly after sunrise. Felt like a meditation in itself and I agree wholeheartedly about rest. I’m recovering my vitality post divorce, death & psycho/Narc abuse and I did practice (via intuition) sitting in quiet or music, observing nature ~ it’s helps bring clarity as the body & mind have a chance to connect the dots of your life ~ as the inner witness ~ this skill is a life saver I’ve found. So glad to hear someone else speaking on this. Pre tech days were very different and I believe the more we move through our days sans tech, the healthier & happier we all will be. Tech has been a psychological weapon, especially when no real boundaries of its use are implemented. It’s a take back of our very thoughts and brain/ body patterning. Thank you for the post!
I wish we used tech for school and work. And not so much for socializing. Contacting family, maybe, but it’s still not the same as picking up a phone, maybe a land line one and actually talking to someone. You can hear their voice. Read the pregnant pauses in their words instead of not knowing if they got distracted by something or someone else. It has gotten to the point that at least half of the people I know almost refuse to speak with anyone on the phone. Infinite scrolling is a total and complete time waster. The only place I do it is here and (guilty pleasure) Facebook marketplace. I love “window shopping”- hearting things I will never buy. But I quit frequenting all other social media outlets years ago.
I, too am going through a divorce that, despite a challenging 20 year marriage with 4 children and 5 grandchildren (surely we’re too young to have that many), was a total shock. Just as I had come to a place of feeling good about our marriage and our relationship, I revealed the wrong thing and this is what happened. But through the heartbreak and the grief and the loneliness, I found stillness. I basically was so depressed and not ok that I took to bed ( not able to function) and only used my phone to communicate with my best friend and my therapist (my support team). I mainly cried and felt and slept and thought. I stayed in my room, completely alone for the most part and became very familiar with me. The whole thing cracked my heart wide open and I was given the gift of vulnerability and the ability to see and accept the truth of what was and what had been. And who I was (how I thought, felt, and acted) and how I think, feel, and act now. Some call this shadow work and it’s never easy. I moved into my new place a week ago and am already so much better. And yes, I still rest and look out the sliding glass window at the woods across from me. And at night, I sit on the balcony and listen to the cicadas, taking in the scent of trees, grateful for the occasional wind that glides across my skin. I treasure my quiet time and used to have to steal it or feel guilty about it. I am studying (at home) to be a professional editor. Available positions pepper my inbox from a LinkedIn and Indeed and copywriters make a sh*t ton of money. But I’ve been a copywriter before and I absolutely hate it. I feel sort of guilty and stupid about not going that route, but I value my quality of life more than money. And I can make a pretty good living as an editor and it’s something that I love to do. Sounds fair, right? Thanks for helping me justify my rest and for making it a little bit easier for me to not feel so lazy and guilty for doing it. Not quite there yet, but making progress. 🙂
That's quite a tale Ellie, I feel you on how a divorce can rip you in two and make all the everything come to the surface. It was a shock to me. But the greatest thing that ever happened as well. It's when I actually first embraced the stillness. I'm glad it's served you so well too.
My pleasure Laura, and I'm glad it found you and your cat in the right moment. I feel for you about the post-divorce years, it took me a long time to get back to myself. But I'm glad for it all, it led me here. And here is good. I hope you're doing well on that path.
I love this and thank you for sharing! I struggle with allowing myself rest and sleep. It's nice knowing I'm not alone.
You are correct. Time to pick up my guitar and go outside.
This was a great reminder. Thank you!
For sure Elizabeth, I have to remind myself too.
This was a great reminder. Thank you!
When I have paused to read your work it taps me gently between the eyes. This one wordifies much of my own discovery around rest and the magic in nothingness, and that synchronicity whispers rightness - your unifying premise of ‘undividing’ though is a golden thread… separation is soul cancer. ❤️
"Taps me between the eyes" is one of the best things anyone has ever said about my work. Thank you HoP. I really appreciate you letting me know how this is landing with you.
gently! I forgot gently!
This is so well put together. So much to take to heart and mind. Will I follow it today and put this damn personal idiot box away for a while?
More will be revealed. If I use the tool of rest, perhaps.
The off button is there anytime you need it Fred.
By the way, I love what you are doing here on Undividing in general. It leaves me thoughtful after reading it. Thank you!
Thank you Ellie, I'm glad you're reading and it's all landing with you. Cheers!
Transformative, and so much of it resonated. Thank you Karl! <3
You're so welcome Stephanie!